Post by Cannonball on Sept 20, 2006 15:26:33 GMT -5
[JP: Ravery 'n' Sarah Productions]
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"Sammysam! Wake up!"
*bounce bounce bounce bounce*
"Momma says ya gotta get UP!"
*bounce bounce bounce bounce *
He was already two hours behind schedule by the time he got the Small Child of Doom off the bed and had crawled into the shower.
Not an auspicious start to your wedding day.
The girls were in an uproar, curling and spraying and pinning their hair in the living room instead of one by one in the now-taken bathroom as they might have on a school day. Paige was trying her best to get the kids fed while Momma was out at the church getting everything ready.
"Sammy Z Guthrie! You best hurry up honey or you're gonna catch hell from that woman'a yours!"
At least she hadn't said what she -felt- like saying. The girls gave her teasing looks, and she smirked back at them, helping everyone get dressed.
Sam was lucky she loved him so much, otherwise she may not have even worn a dress to church that day.
Twenty minutes later, the eldest Guthrie stood at the door of the living room, staring, with barely concealed tears in his eyes at the gorgeous gaggle of Guthrie girls, all done up to the absolute nines and every one of them every bit as beautiful as the last, from the sixteen-year old Paige right down to the littlest of six.
Sam himself was dressed in a hired suit that had been well-tailored and fit him beautifully. His hair was combed neatly into place and, apart from struggling with his tie, he wasn't doing a bad job.
"Shoulda known ties would be a bad idea," he said, wretchedly. "Jay is upstairs tryin' ta show the others how to put a tie on. I reckon as how a fight's gonna be breakin' out..."
There was a loud 'CRASH' from the upstairs bedroom and Sam visibly cringed.
"I'm gonna kill 'em," he said. "Kill 'em right dead."
Paige couldn't help but smile radiantly at her brother, even if her stomach hadn't decided whether to twist itself into knots or turn to solid stone. She moved to him and helped him straighten his tie.
"Don't you worry about a thing upstairs. We'll get the boys straightened out. Aunt Ellie and Uncle Jack will be over ta get the rest of us in a few minutes, but first you gotta eat somethin." She grinned. "Think you can hold it down?"
"What? Food? No way, Paige, I'm wearing a WHITE shirt. I don't dare." He managed a nervous smile. "Hoo boy, what if Brenda changes her mind at the last minute? It's gonna happen, ain't it? I'm gonna get to the church and she ain't gonna show, and y'all have got dressed in ya best for nothin'..."
He sat down on the arm of the sofa and the six-year old immediately clambered onto his lap.
"I feel sick," she announced.
And then threw up on him.
Paige let out a helpless shriek, lifting the child immediately and handing her off to an older sister. "Bathroom!" After more than a decade in a house with godknowshowmany children, the Guthrie girls had learned how to handle chaos.
"Well ya jinxed yourself there, Sam," Paige said in Momma's voice, and helped him get his tux off. "Go rinse y'shirt out in the shower. Lizzie, get your hair dryer. Dammit. God damn the devil anyway." She sighed, and shooed him off, dashing to the kitchen to get his jacket cleaned up.
The phone rang, and Paige hollered for someone to answer it.
"Ellie and Jack are gonna be late! Jack fell on the front porch and hurt'is leg!"
"PAIGE!" bellowed Sam from the bathroom. "The goddamn shower's packed in!"
"Sammy said 'goddamn'," giggled a couple of the younger kids. "Sammy's goin' to HELL!"
"Wear one of ya other shirts you frickin' RETARD," shouted Joshua from somewhere else in the house.
Ten more minutes ticked away and Sam re-appeared wearing a lumberjack-check red and black shirt with his suit pants. "It was the only clean one I could find," he said, pleadingly.
"Oh for the sake of-" Paige handed off the jacket to a sister and returned to the living room, making a soft sound of overwhelmed protest. "No, no- NO, Sam." She marched him back to Momma's room with her hand like a vice around his wrist.
Opening the door, she pointed in and nearly shoved her brother through the door, shutting it behind them. "Git that shirt offya," she said moodily, opening Momma's closet and shoving aside dresses and winter coats until she was nearly inside the closet.
Pulling out a garment bag on a hanger, she turned and laid it on the bed. Unzipping it, she pulled out an old brown suit jacket with a white dress shirt beneath. It had been their father's.
"Come on now Sammy," she said a little softer, unbuttoning the cuffs and handing it to him.
"She's fine Chubs, she'd just had too much cereal ta'eat!" someone called from the hallway.
"Jesus Christ will see to it your pecker rots off if ya call me that again!!" Paige hollered back.
"I can't wear that," he said, mortified. "It's Daddy's best shirt."
A wave of emotion threatened to crash over him. "I sure do wish Daddy was here to see me this day, I surely do," he said, the shine of tears in his blue eyes. Then he stood up straight and tall and took off the red-and-black monstrosity.
He picked up Daddy's shirt gingerly and put it on. It was almost a perfect fit, although Sam was definitely broader across the back that Thomas Guthrie had ever been and there was a little gaping.
"Do ya think he'd be proud of me, Paige?"
Paige slipped the tie around his neck and tied it on with practiced precision. They hadn't gone to church as much after Daddy'd died, but there had been enough time up until he did to learn how to tie ties for every boy in the family every Sunday morning.
"Sure he would, Sammy." She kissed his cheek. "And he's here, honey. You know he is." Smiling even if she didn't really want to, she rubbed his arm. "Now come on, you take a few bites of breakfast before you head out hmm? Just be- wait." She ducked back into the closet and found Momma's lavender raincoat. It was a woman's coat, but Momma was a big woman. "Might as well take no chances, huh?"
"Paige?"
Sam rubbed at the back of his neck as he surveyed his little sister. "I never told ya this properly before, but I'm proud of ya. Ya done well in end of year tests, and ya gonna go places. Momma was so sad when I threw out that college scholarship and went down the mines instead, but we needed the money. Ya go right on makin' me proud."
He put his arms around his favourite sister and hugged her close, a rare moment of sibling solidarity in the sea of chaos that was the Guthrie household.
"Now," he said, trying to flatten down his hair which was already starting to stick up, "I'm gonna go to that church. And I'm gonna marry Brenda. And if she don't show, then we're still gonna have one heck of a party, ain't that right Joelle? I know you're listenin' at the door."
"I got ya jacket, Sam," came the reply.
A few moments later, finally, Sam Guthrie was ready. By some miracle, or perhaps a following wind, Jack and Ellie arrived a little earlier than they'd anticipated. They lined the Guthrie children up on the porch and took several photographs.
"I'm dreamin', pinch me," Sam mumbled, stage fright starting to set in. "I want to go back to bed please."
Paige smiled for the camera, then swatted her brother on the ass, pushing him towards his beloved orange car. "Nonsense Sam, you're gonna do great. Besides, all YOU gotta do is stand there, smile at your woman, repeat after the pastor and put a ring on her finger."
She looked up at him. "You... do have the ring, dontcha."
"Paige Guthrie, whaddya take me for? Course I got the..."
No. It wasn't there.
"It was in the jacket pocket," he said, anxiously. "This mornin'! I know it was there..."
Aunt Ellie cursed under her breath, marching in the house to find it.
Before Sam could panic, Paige took his face in her hands. "Go to the church. Ask Momma ta borrow her ring if we don't get there in time- but YOU gotta go and talk to the pastor, and hook up with your boys. Go!" She turned him around again towards his car.
"Ha ha Sam! You lost the ring!"
"You could use a froot loop Sam!"
"Gotta go. Pastor. Momma. Oh, my dear Lord, Paige, I'm a simple guy. I weren't build for this kinda stress." He headed out round the back to his car, which the two middle brothers had seen fit to festoon with tin cans, streamers and all sorts of junk that looked like it'd come out the kitchen trash that morning.
Red faced and deeply embarrassed, Sam fired up the orange monstrosity that was his pride and joy.
Or he would have done if the battery hadn't been flat.
"Nooooo…" He fell forward, his head on the steering wheel, a long, low moan escaping his lips.
"It was in the bathroom!" Joelle ran out of the house breathless, her blonde curls starting to go limp. The younger kids cheered, and Paige looked around the side of the house for Sam's car.
It wasn't coming. Why?
Walking out back, she saw Sam slumped over the wheel. "Sam!" She yelped, half afraid he'd had a heart attack from all the excitement. When he lifted his head, she nearly ran to the car.
"What's amatter honey?" When he tried the starter again and it just clicked, she matched his groan.
"Well, come on, we found the ring. Get in the truck with the rest of us."
The poor man sat, squashed between his siblings, in the truck, looking for all the world like he'd rather be somewhere else. He'd briefly suggested maybe using his other mode of transport to get to the wedding, but Paige had quickly stamped that idea out of him. Using his mutant ability was a taboo subject around their aunt and uncle.
He didn't speak a word for the entire trip.
When they all piled out of the truck, their younger brothers and sisters disappeared into the crowd of cousins lingering outside the little church. She helped him straighten his jacket as his best men walked up to give him hell. Paige shoved the ring in its little box to the best man with an open threat to pound him good if he lost it. Sam's best man had been his best friend most of their lives, and had always carried a torch for Sam's younger sister- but rules were rules, particularly in this part of the country. He nodded somberly, then flashed a wicked grin.
"Now you go talk to the pastor Sam, and see Momma so she can get you ready for the ceremony." She looked up at him and spoke a little quieter so the whole world couldn't hear. "You look great, and you're gonna do fine. Just stand up there and try not to pass out on us, alrighty?" She smiled.
Sam remembered nothing of the conversation with the pastor, a good-natured man who was used to such reactions from young men.
It seemed like no time at all had passed before he found himself standing in the front row, only vaguely aware of the entire Guthrie clan around him. Last time he'd stood in this church had been Daddy's funeral.
He stood.
And he waited.
"Oh for heaven's sake girl just finish the curl already!"
"I'm tryin Miss Brenda, but ya won't sit still for more than a second'a two!"
"Ya know we're late! The organ's already on. Come on ladies, pastor's waitin!"
"So's Sammy, heheh."
Paige couldn't even get herself to go into the room where the bridesmaids and her brother's soon to be wife were giggling and carrying on, making everyone wait. And here she'd fought all morning to get her family to the church on time, and Momma'd fussed for hours over every stupid lavender bow on every pew. Paige was in a terrible mood and only wanted to go the hell home. Either that or hurry on to the reception so she could have a few beers and forget about this whole stupid day.
When Brenda finally made it into the hallway, carrying on like an empress with her bridesmaids giggling behind her, Paige just crossed her arms, and walked up the aisle to her seat. Everyone turned to look at her, thinking perhaps she was part of the much-delayed ceremony. She smiled a bit, then a little more as she saw her brother looking so handsome up at the altar. She winked at him, then scooted in between Joelle and Momma.
Man she hated that Brenda girl.
The ceremony went flawlessly.
Mostly.
Sam forgot his own name, which caused a ripple of mirth from the Guthrie siblings, all of whom were shushed by Momma, who was sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"My little Sammy," she wept. "He done growed up on me."
Distracted by his own family, Sam then proceeded to get Brenda's name wrong, calling her Sheryl instead, which had been the name of his previous girlfriend.
THAT stopped the hilarity as the entire Williams family drew in a collective, sharp breath of disgust which was only broken when Brenda kicked her fiance in the shin to prompt him to speak again. The shock of this caused Sam to drop the ring on the floor and he had to scrabble around for it for a moment.
Finally, somehow, he managed to stumble through his marriage vows and the kiss he gave his new bride at the end was clearly one of love.
Or relief.
Paige tried to get her brothers to slow down in their enthusiasm to party long enough to get the younger kids into Jack and Ellie's truck once more. She hardly saw her brother as they greeted every member of both families on their way out of the church.
She tried to watch out of the corner of her eye to see if any of Brenda's family was going to sock Sam a good one for his slip up earlier. Fortunately they all stayed relatively civil. God knew if that was going to last during the reception.
They all managed to pile into their cars and get on to the civil hall without incident. Paige wasn't holding her breath though.
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"Sammysam! Wake up!"
*bounce bounce bounce bounce*
"Momma says ya gotta get UP!"
*bounce bounce bounce bounce *
He was already two hours behind schedule by the time he got the Small Child of Doom off the bed and had crawled into the shower.
Not an auspicious start to your wedding day.
The girls were in an uproar, curling and spraying and pinning their hair in the living room instead of one by one in the now-taken bathroom as they might have on a school day. Paige was trying her best to get the kids fed while Momma was out at the church getting everything ready.
"Sammy Z Guthrie! You best hurry up honey or you're gonna catch hell from that woman'a yours!"
At least she hadn't said what she -felt- like saying. The girls gave her teasing looks, and she smirked back at them, helping everyone get dressed.
Sam was lucky she loved him so much, otherwise she may not have even worn a dress to church that day.
Twenty minutes later, the eldest Guthrie stood at the door of the living room, staring, with barely concealed tears in his eyes at the gorgeous gaggle of Guthrie girls, all done up to the absolute nines and every one of them every bit as beautiful as the last, from the sixteen-year old Paige right down to the littlest of six.
Sam himself was dressed in a hired suit that had been well-tailored and fit him beautifully. His hair was combed neatly into place and, apart from struggling with his tie, he wasn't doing a bad job.
"Shoulda known ties would be a bad idea," he said, wretchedly. "Jay is upstairs tryin' ta show the others how to put a tie on. I reckon as how a fight's gonna be breakin' out..."
There was a loud 'CRASH' from the upstairs bedroom and Sam visibly cringed.
"I'm gonna kill 'em," he said. "Kill 'em right dead."
Paige couldn't help but smile radiantly at her brother, even if her stomach hadn't decided whether to twist itself into knots or turn to solid stone. She moved to him and helped him straighten his tie.
"Don't you worry about a thing upstairs. We'll get the boys straightened out. Aunt Ellie and Uncle Jack will be over ta get the rest of us in a few minutes, but first you gotta eat somethin." She grinned. "Think you can hold it down?"
"What? Food? No way, Paige, I'm wearing a WHITE shirt. I don't dare." He managed a nervous smile. "Hoo boy, what if Brenda changes her mind at the last minute? It's gonna happen, ain't it? I'm gonna get to the church and she ain't gonna show, and y'all have got dressed in ya best for nothin'..."
He sat down on the arm of the sofa and the six-year old immediately clambered onto his lap.
"I feel sick," she announced.
And then threw up on him.
Paige let out a helpless shriek, lifting the child immediately and handing her off to an older sister. "Bathroom!" After more than a decade in a house with godknowshowmany children, the Guthrie girls had learned how to handle chaos.
"Well ya jinxed yourself there, Sam," Paige said in Momma's voice, and helped him get his tux off. "Go rinse y'shirt out in the shower. Lizzie, get your hair dryer. Dammit. God damn the devil anyway." She sighed, and shooed him off, dashing to the kitchen to get his jacket cleaned up.
The phone rang, and Paige hollered for someone to answer it.
"Ellie and Jack are gonna be late! Jack fell on the front porch and hurt'is leg!"
"PAIGE!" bellowed Sam from the bathroom. "The goddamn shower's packed in!"
"Sammy said 'goddamn'," giggled a couple of the younger kids. "Sammy's goin' to HELL!"
"Wear one of ya other shirts you frickin' RETARD," shouted Joshua from somewhere else in the house.
Ten more minutes ticked away and Sam re-appeared wearing a lumberjack-check red and black shirt with his suit pants. "It was the only clean one I could find," he said, pleadingly.
"Oh for the sake of-" Paige handed off the jacket to a sister and returned to the living room, making a soft sound of overwhelmed protest. "No, no- NO, Sam." She marched him back to Momma's room with her hand like a vice around his wrist.
Opening the door, she pointed in and nearly shoved her brother through the door, shutting it behind them. "Git that shirt offya," she said moodily, opening Momma's closet and shoving aside dresses and winter coats until she was nearly inside the closet.
Pulling out a garment bag on a hanger, she turned and laid it on the bed. Unzipping it, she pulled out an old brown suit jacket with a white dress shirt beneath. It had been their father's.
"Come on now Sammy," she said a little softer, unbuttoning the cuffs and handing it to him.
"She's fine Chubs, she'd just had too much cereal ta'eat!" someone called from the hallway.
"Jesus Christ will see to it your pecker rots off if ya call me that again!!" Paige hollered back.
"I can't wear that," he said, mortified. "It's Daddy's best shirt."
A wave of emotion threatened to crash over him. "I sure do wish Daddy was here to see me this day, I surely do," he said, the shine of tears in his blue eyes. Then he stood up straight and tall and took off the red-and-black monstrosity.
He picked up Daddy's shirt gingerly and put it on. It was almost a perfect fit, although Sam was definitely broader across the back that Thomas Guthrie had ever been and there was a little gaping.
"Do ya think he'd be proud of me, Paige?"
Paige slipped the tie around his neck and tied it on with practiced precision. They hadn't gone to church as much after Daddy'd died, but there had been enough time up until he did to learn how to tie ties for every boy in the family every Sunday morning.
"Sure he would, Sammy." She kissed his cheek. "And he's here, honey. You know he is." Smiling even if she didn't really want to, she rubbed his arm. "Now come on, you take a few bites of breakfast before you head out hmm? Just be- wait." She ducked back into the closet and found Momma's lavender raincoat. It was a woman's coat, but Momma was a big woman. "Might as well take no chances, huh?"
"Paige?"
Sam rubbed at the back of his neck as he surveyed his little sister. "I never told ya this properly before, but I'm proud of ya. Ya done well in end of year tests, and ya gonna go places. Momma was so sad when I threw out that college scholarship and went down the mines instead, but we needed the money. Ya go right on makin' me proud."
He put his arms around his favourite sister and hugged her close, a rare moment of sibling solidarity in the sea of chaos that was the Guthrie household.
"Now," he said, trying to flatten down his hair which was already starting to stick up, "I'm gonna go to that church. And I'm gonna marry Brenda. And if she don't show, then we're still gonna have one heck of a party, ain't that right Joelle? I know you're listenin' at the door."
"I got ya jacket, Sam," came the reply.
A few moments later, finally, Sam Guthrie was ready. By some miracle, or perhaps a following wind, Jack and Ellie arrived a little earlier than they'd anticipated. They lined the Guthrie children up on the porch and took several photographs.
"I'm dreamin', pinch me," Sam mumbled, stage fright starting to set in. "I want to go back to bed please."
Paige smiled for the camera, then swatted her brother on the ass, pushing him towards his beloved orange car. "Nonsense Sam, you're gonna do great. Besides, all YOU gotta do is stand there, smile at your woman, repeat after the pastor and put a ring on her finger."
She looked up at him. "You... do have the ring, dontcha."
"Paige Guthrie, whaddya take me for? Course I got the..."
No. It wasn't there.
"It was in the jacket pocket," he said, anxiously. "This mornin'! I know it was there..."
Aunt Ellie cursed under her breath, marching in the house to find it.
Before Sam could panic, Paige took his face in her hands. "Go to the church. Ask Momma ta borrow her ring if we don't get there in time- but YOU gotta go and talk to the pastor, and hook up with your boys. Go!" She turned him around again towards his car.
"Ha ha Sam! You lost the ring!"
"You could use a froot loop Sam!"
"Gotta go. Pastor. Momma. Oh, my dear Lord, Paige, I'm a simple guy. I weren't build for this kinda stress." He headed out round the back to his car, which the two middle brothers had seen fit to festoon with tin cans, streamers and all sorts of junk that looked like it'd come out the kitchen trash that morning.
Red faced and deeply embarrassed, Sam fired up the orange monstrosity that was his pride and joy.
Or he would have done if the battery hadn't been flat.
"Nooooo…" He fell forward, his head on the steering wheel, a long, low moan escaping his lips.
"It was in the bathroom!" Joelle ran out of the house breathless, her blonde curls starting to go limp. The younger kids cheered, and Paige looked around the side of the house for Sam's car.
It wasn't coming. Why?
Walking out back, she saw Sam slumped over the wheel. "Sam!" She yelped, half afraid he'd had a heart attack from all the excitement. When he lifted his head, she nearly ran to the car.
"What's amatter honey?" When he tried the starter again and it just clicked, she matched his groan.
"Well, come on, we found the ring. Get in the truck with the rest of us."
The poor man sat, squashed between his siblings, in the truck, looking for all the world like he'd rather be somewhere else. He'd briefly suggested maybe using his other mode of transport to get to the wedding, but Paige had quickly stamped that idea out of him. Using his mutant ability was a taboo subject around their aunt and uncle.
He didn't speak a word for the entire trip.
When they all piled out of the truck, their younger brothers and sisters disappeared into the crowd of cousins lingering outside the little church. She helped him straighten his jacket as his best men walked up to give him hell. Paige shoved the ring in its little box to the best man with an open threat to pound him good if he lost it. Sam's best man had been his best friend most of their lives, and had always carried a torch for Sam's younger sister- but rules were rules, particularly in this part of the country. He nodded somberly, then flashed a wicked grin.
"Now you go talk to the pastor Sam, and see Momma so she can get you ready for the ceremony." She looked up at him and spoke a little quieter so the whole world couldn't hear. "You look great, and you're gonna do fine. Just stand up there and try not to pass out on us, alrighty?" She smiled.
Sam remembered nothing of the conversation with the pastor, a good-natured man who was used to such reactions from young men.
It seemed like no time at all had passed before he found himself standing in the front row, only vaguely aware of the entire Guthrie clan around him. Last time he'd stood in this church had been Daddy's funeral.
He stood.
And he waited.
"Oh for heaven's sake girl just finish the curl already!"
"I'm tryin Miss Brenda, but ya won't sit still for more than a second'a two!"
"Ya know we're late! The organ's already on. Come on ladies, pastor's waitin!"
"So's Sammy, heheh."
Paige couldn't even get herself to go into the room where the bridesmaids and her brother's soon to be wife were giggling and carrying on, making everyone wait. And here she'd fought all morning to get her family to the church on time, and Momma'd fussed for hours over every stupid lavender bow on every pew. Paige was in a terrible mood and only wanted to go the hell home. Either that or hurry on to the reception so she could have a few beers and forget about this whole stupid day.
When Brenda finally made it into the hallway, carrying on like an empress with her bridesmaids giggling behind her, Paige just crossed her arms, and walked up the aisle to her seat. Everyone turned to look at her, thinking perhaps she was part of the much-delayed ceremony. She smiled a bit, then a little more as she saw her brother looking so handsome up at the altar. She winked at him, then scooted in between Joelle and Momma.
Man she hated that Brenda girl.
The ceremony went flawlessly.
Mostly.
Sam forgot his own name, which caused a ripple of mirth from the Guthrie siblings, all of whom were shushed by Momma, who was sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"My little Sammy," she wept. "He done growed up on me."
Distracted by his own family, Sam then proceeded to get Brenda's name wrong, calling her Sheryl instead, which had been the name of his previous girlfriend.
THAT stopped the hilarity as the entire Williams family drew in a collective, sharp breath of disgust which was only broken when Brenda kicked her fiance in the shin to prompt him to speak again. The shock of this caused Sam to drop the ring on the floor and he had to scrabble around for it for a moment.
Finally, somehow, he managed to stumble through his marriage vows and the kiss he gave his new bride at the end was clearly one of love.
Or relief.
Paige tried to get her brothers to slow down in their enthusiasm to party long enough to get the younger kids into Jack and Ellie's truck once more. She hardly saw her brother as they greeted every member of both families on their way out of the church.
She tried to watch out of the corner of her eye to see if any of Brenda's family was going to sock Sam a good one for his slip up earlier. Fortunately they all stayed relatively civil. God knew if that was going to last during the reception.
They all managed to pile into their cars and get on to the civil hall without incident. Paige wasn't holding her breath though.
